oh em gee. sugar! overdose!

free breakfast today = sweet life patisserie, the delicious restaurant from whence my mother swears she can get the vegan cheesecake recipe. i have mentioned it before, but this vegan cheesecake is about 97x as good as real-cheese cheesecake, probably better for you, and involves no nasty dairy bellyaches for me.

so i had half a savory danish and half a cinnamon roll and i feel very bzz, bzz, bzz.

last night i hated it here. not work here, here here - this wee college town of less than 200,000. i was insisting on the closed-circuitness of the music scene and this that and the other whiny thing, and i couldn't listen to myself anymore, and i told J i wanted to stop talking because i was just being a grump and annoying myself in the process.

and he went kind of down a different road with that, but one i was grateful to go down: the one where he explains that if i say something, i don't have to think that he's going to take it as the way molly thinks about the topic at hand, writ in stone; where he says that he always changes his mind about things, and he knows i do too, and i don't need to get tense thinking he's somehow going to think less of me for it.

very common sense, yes, very smart boy. but i guess i've been in situations before where i've felt that people have defined me by comments i didn't wish to be defined by, and so i zig and zag around things, not wanting to be tied down. but he's not trying to slip any ties around my words, and that's worth so much to me.

i still got in the car and burst into tears because i missed my friends, but i think that had everything to do with what was making me hate eugene at that moment, and nothing to do with the fantastic boy already past me in his own car, snow tires making noises like squishing slugs down the road.

i know i can't say enough good things about him.

this morning, though, back to the original topic, i woke up, went through my normal routine, kissed him goodbye, nearly slid into another car on my way down our one-lane gravel drive, drove into town, stopped for coffee, and felt a strange swelling of affection for this place. all the people in line, one woman telling the barista how her daughter just moved back from maine. "couldn't take any more ten below winters," she said, smiling. the counterpeople are friendly and they joke with you about not using any of those ridiculous starbucks terms in their store; they make "eggspresso" sandwiches for breakfast and i watched, fascinated, as they steamed the eggs with the steam wand clearly reserved for just this purpose.

my iced coffee tasted even better than usual, this morning.

(ps. ANSWER MY QUESTION, damn yer eyes!)