i have a total case of "don't wanna" today. don't wanna go to a cinco de mayo party with a pinata i had nothing to do with the making or planning of; wanna go to the beethoven performance and out to dinner like i thought we were doing when i got dressed this morning. don't wanna trim this story down to 400 words because it's not good enough as it is and it's just going to suck more if it's shorter. don't wanna tangle with trying to figure out which days i can take off and when and how and i DO wanna go to seaside with J the week of the 17th so i may have to skip the trail of dead show and i don't wanna skip that.

don't wanna be broke. don't wanna be at work. don't wanna drink tons of water even though it's good for me.

in short, i'm a total fucking whiner today.

but monday was different. monday, we went to portland for another cooking class, and it was grand. i used the soy-lime dipping sauce the chef showed us as a marinade for tofu that i cooked up last night with broccoli and sticky rice and it was so good i think i impressed myself.

also, at this cooking class, i ate my first mussels, and my first not-in-chowder clam, which was lightly fried in parsley and japanese breadcrumbs. j, a coastal boy, declared it the best clam he'd ever eaten. i had to agree.

lots of wine, too. got a little tipsy and stuff. next class, june 20. cannot wait.

i am so sick of the fucking weekly calendar. they suggested having me write a series on business yesterday, because i'm so interested in what's going to happen with this eight millionth plan to revitalize downtown. i don't know much about business, but i realized that small business is kind of fascinating, and if i can talk about it in a way that my coworkers think means i should write about it, well, why not?

(a board member thinks i ought to do a "think piece" about the heart of a city, sort of about eugene, sort of about my eugene-nyc back-n-forth, i think. i'm not sure how, but i might try it.)

i'm going for a walk. grr, and also argh.

(ps. you can see J's feet here: http://www.eugeneweekly.com/2005/05/05/coverstory.html and no, i cannot tell you why my not-really-an-outdoors story [which also is not very good, and was written while hung over] is the first story listed on that long page. i really don't know. it's kind of odd really.)